Annoying label bookkeeping for the Ashton Demi Bruce story of 31 Oct.

A link to the post below.

On the rocks alert and Man Slut warning: Kris Humphries does his Ashton Kutcher impression.

Publications: Star, Weekly Life & Style
Date: 31 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Here it is, October 20, but the magazine that hit the stand today are dated October 31. These Halloween gossip rags bring no treats for little hobbit hottie Kim Kardashian and her orc groom Kris Humphries. Earlier stories of trouble in their months old marriage were all over the place, but this week two magazines have agreed on a narrative.

Kris is a man slut and Kim is going to kick him to the curb. Here are the headlines.

• Star: Breaking News
  Kim & Kris THE END
  'He never really loved her' - shocking tell-all
  Kris leaves town alone
  She catches him with two women
  They taunt Kim with the details
  Now: a divorce lawyer
• Weekly Life & Style: Friends and family confirm
  Headed for a split!
  Has Kris cheated already?
  Kris caught with a blonde at 5 a.m.
  Kim's ring is off
  Inside their screaming fights
  The Kardashians scramble to protect their millions
  

Man Slut Alert: Did Donald Trump cheat?

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 24 Oct. 2011

Way back in November 2010, the Enquirer had Donald Trump on the cover with the ridiculous idea that he would run for president. For several months earlier this year, the Three Wicked Step Sisters presented him as the King of the Birthers.

Now, all that noise is over and other more reliable gossip rags can speak the truth about him. Donald Trump is a swine who uses women until they get too old, then trades them in for newer models. Weekly Life & Style is slightly coy about this, putting a question mark at the end of the sentence, but I think we all know the answer is yes.

On the rocks alert and Damn You Skinny Alert™: All the Demi and Ashton drama this week

Publications: People, In Touch, Us Weekly
Date: 24 Oct. 2011

Last week there were six stories about Ashton and Demi. This week only three. Still, it's one of the most covered stories in the rags this time around. Here are the headlines.

• People: Demi & Ashton
  Working on their marriage
• In Touch: Alcohol abuse and anorexia fears
  Demi's rehab nightmare
  Pressure to keep her younger man sends Demi in a tailspin. Inside her private struggle
  Plus: Ashton's mistress speaks

And a third story all about blabbermouth Sara Leal.

• Us Weekly: The other woman speaks
  My affair with Ashton
  How Kutcher seduced 22-year-old Sara Leal.
  Shocking new details of their X-rated night together

Clearly, this story is not going away for a while.

On the rocks alert: Jessica (Biel) betrayed!

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

Us Weekly has yet another story about man slut Justin Timberlake cheating on Jessica Biel.

I blush to write this because actresses are among the most attractive women in the public eye, but Jessica Biel doesn't do that much for me. Maybe she just doesn't take a good picture.

On the other hand, Justin's alleged latest conquest, Scarlett Johansson, takes a very good picture. Quite often when a celebrity couple breaks up, one party is portrayed as the cheater and the other as the wronged party. In the case of Ryan Reynolds and Scarlett, they both come off as kind of slutty, though Reynolds does get positive stories as a good male role model for Sandra Bullock's adopted son Louis.

Justin's ex warns Jen!

Publication: In Touch

Date: 29 August 2011



Here's a fun fact. It's the obscure British playwright William Congreve (1670-1729) who wrote the line "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned." This week's example of this well observed adage comes from Justin Theroux's ex. Here are the headlines.

• Hooked on Mr. Wrong
• His criminal past
• How he cruelly mocked Jen
• His ex: "He lied to my face!"
• "He'll never be faithful"
  
  
  
  

Man Slut Alert: Country's bad boys.

Publication: National Examiner

Date: 22 August 2011



The low rent Examiner shows that their demographic skews older and more Southern than other gossip rags by tattling on country stars who can't be trusted by their women, Blake Shelton, Tim McGraw and Randy Travis. It should be noted that the youngest of these "boys" is 36 and the oldest is 52.

Meanest story nominee: New tell-all book rips into Mister Tony Bennett.

Publication: Globe
Date: 25 July 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Mister Tony Bennett! The singer, painter and national treasure, who will turn 85 next month, has his name dragged through the mud by the Globe. They write about a new "tell-all book" that details Mister Bennett's ties to the mob, his drug use and cheating.

I have made a new label, Call Him Mister, especially for this story. Many ladies have gotten the "Call Her Miss" treatment on this blog, wonderful stars who have been around long enough they should be off limits to the garbage peddlers of the supermarket checkout rags. Mister Bennett is the first of his gender to get similar treatment here.

This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Love Bird Alert™:Charlize and Ryan secretly dating

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 25 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! There are two different stories about Ryan Reynold this week in the supermarket rags, and I think these aren't planted crap hoping to boost the box office of Green Lantern, which is now a month old and about to slip out of the top ten. No, the gossip rags have decided to turn Mr. Reynolds into a man slut along the lines of Gerard Butler.

Welcome to gossip hell, Charlize Theron! Us Weekly tells us that Ryan is secretly dating the South African born beauty. This is her first mention on the cover of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter in two years. In the post just below this one, Weekly Life & Style says Reynolds is trying to get back with his ex Scarlett Johansson.

This is classic man slut behavior, or more likely, a classic example of the gossip rags trying to turn a guy into a man slut. It's a pretty good bet when two stories like this appear in the same week, there are going to be more on the way.

Love Bird Alert™:Scarlett & Ryan back on!

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 25 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Ryan Reynolds is not a big movie star yet. His name above the title is not a promise of ticket sales. But the supermarket rags are fascinated with love life, so he is one of the biggest male gossip stars. Weekly Life & Style says he and ex-wife Scarlett Johannson are giving it another shot, at least for the time being.

This story is contradicted by another story this week.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Hollywood divorce lawyers tell all!

Publication: Star
Date: 18 July 2011

The cover of the Star is dominated by three divorce stories mentioned in the post just above this one, but they also have a teaser for another story about Hollywood divorce lawyers spilling their secrets about other clients. There is no artwork with this story because it's a "Guess who?" kind of deal. Here are the headlines.

• Cross-Dressing!
• Caught with the Nanny!
• Murder by Hit Man
• & more shocking secrets!