Bells Are Ringing Alert™: Another Kardashian wedding!

Publication: OK!
Date: 31 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Getting all the Kardashian stuff out of the way early, we have OK! saying Kourtney and her longtime boyfriend/scumbag Scott Disick are going to get married.

Damn You Skinny (or Fat) Alert™:Best and worst celebrity beach bodies October 2011.

Publication: Star
Date: 24 Oct. 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Hugh Jackman! The Aussie movie star gets his first mention on the cover of any American gossip rag this decade on a best and worst beach body story. Not surprisingly, the 43 year old gets on the best list. We can also welcome to gossip hell Julie Bowen and Pierce Brosnan, who don't get such nice treatment.

The good.

• Hugh Jackman
• Gwyneth Paltrow
• Kourtney Kardashian, in a rare positive story about that family right now

The bad.

• Uma Thurman has a little belly
• Pierce Brosnan has a big belly
• Kirsten Dunst has a very visible spinal chord
• Julie Bowen looks wrinkly
• Christina Aguilera is getting heavy
  

Annoying label bookkeeping for Kim'n'Kris story of 26 Sept.

Link to the story below.

Bun in the oven alert™: Which Kardashian is pregnant?

Publication: OK!
Date: 26 Sept. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Since the beginning of 2010, the Kardashian sisters have had a total of zero babies. This has not stopped The Only Ten Magazines That Matter from telling us Kim or Kourtney or Khloe was pregnant, each of them multiple times. And pile on top of that record of unreliability the fact that this report is from the very nice but very unreliable OK!, there is a very good chance that whatever one they say is pregnant actually isn't.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™ and Least interesting story of the week: Kourtney says "yes" to Scott.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick make their return to the covers of the supermarket rags, but only as an afterthought. Weekly Life & Style has a big picture of Kim Kardashian and her new hubby Kris Humphries on the cover and a single headline with no picture that reads "Plus: Kourtney says 'yes' to Scott".



I'm not sure if the quotation marks around 'yes' are meant to signify an actual quote or some ironic comment by the headline writers.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™: Kourtney & Khloe reveal secrets of Kim's wedding

Publication: OK!

Date: 22 August 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! For the past few months, Kim has been the only Kardashian sister of interest to the supermarket rags, but OK! bring Khloe and Kourtney back on the cover... to talk about Kim's wedding. The headline reads:



Obsessing over everything from the gown to the guest list, Kim's family promises she'll have the perfect day.

There is also a sidebar about other celebs giving advice, with a picture of Kendra Wilkinson, the only other reality TV star in the top ten of gossip rag cover stories over the past two years.

Bells Are Ringing Alert™: Secret Kardashian wedding

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 22 August 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Weekly Life & Style says there's been a secret Kardashian wedding. The cover picture has Kim and her beau Kris Humphries, due to be wed in a lavish blow-out some time this month, and Kourtney, Scott Disick - the forgotten man of the Kardashian gossip machine - and the cute little tyke Mason.

Since Kim and Kris would elope only under pain of death and being fired from the family, we are left to assume Scott has finally made an honest woman of Kourtney.

Buns in the oven alert™: More babies for reality TV moms.

Publication: OK!
Date: 18 July 2011

Welcome back to gossip hell, Kourtney Kardashian! Kim has been the vast majority of Kardashian cover stories in the supermarket rags since she announced her wedding plans, but this week OK! tells us Kourtney is pregnant before her wedding with her second child.

This rumor has been floated many times. We'll see if this one pans out sometime in 2012.

OK! also says Kendra Wilkinson is pregnant with a girl. OK! is the nicest of the gossip rags, but they are not the most reliable.