Fussin' and Feudin' Alert™: Bill and Barack hate each other.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 17 Oct. 2011

The Globe prints more stories about Barack Hussein Hitler Obama than does the low rent Examiner, but the Examiner is fond of story that the Clintons and the Obamas do not get along. This time, instead of Michelle and Hillary, it's Bill and Barack who are at each others' throats.

The rebirth of birther crap: Cops' secret Obama file!

Publication: Globe
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

You might have thought the birth certificate complaints would have gone away earlier this year and only crazy people would still believe it and the press would ignore them.

Well, you do get partial credit for that answer. The Globe found someone besides Sheriff Joe Arpaio who wants to spend taxpayer dollars proving that Barack Hussein Cromwell Obama is an unlawful usurper. Here are the headlines.

• Second official probe into phony birth certificate
• The police evidence: 185 pages
• Panic in White House
• Plus: Prez caught in $535 million 'kickback' scandal
  
  

Three more prophecies for 2011! Doris Day's sad last days, you already know about.

Publication: Sun
Date: 19 Sept. 2011

The Sun comes through this week with four prophecies that they say will come true this year. I split off the prediction of Doris Day's death as a candidate for Meanest Story of the Week, and here are the three others.

First: Obama Election bombshell as U.S. economy collapses

It's hard to have a bombshell eleven months before the votes are cast, but let's take a watch and wait attitude.

Elvis: new autopsy shows how The King really died.

He died at the age of 42, grotesquely fat and drugged out of his mind.

Any questions?

Fatima - Angel reveals fourth prophecy secrets

There were only three prophecies and three kids at Fatima.

Technically, this one doesn't say anything specific, but I will check in on New Year's Day to see if we know anything new about Obama's re-election campaign or Elvis Presley's pathetic demise.

Meanest story nominee: Cops probe Obama!

Publication: Globe

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



You thought birther crap was dead, didn't you? It's merely resting, according to the Globe and Sheriff Joe Arpaio, the publicity hound pinhead who let Steven Seagal run over some suspect's dog with a tank.



And other than the consistent disregard for the law, why is the background of America's Toughest Sheriff's picture pink?



Just asking.



Here are the headlines.

• Tough talking sheriff investigates PHONY birth certificate
• Sheriff Joe Arapaio
• Will he be impeached?
  
  

I don't know if sheriffs can be impeached. I think they have to be recalled, or better yet, tried for criminal behavior and with their fat ass thrown in jail.



This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Meanest story nominee: Obama breaks down after booze binge!

Publication: Globe

Date: 5 Sept. 2011



The Globe tells us that Barack Hussein Montgomery Clift Obama cannot hold his liquor and has collapsed after a booze binge. According to the headline, rehab is the secret behind his recent $5 million vacation.



This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

Skeeter Davis alert: Goverment death map!

Publication: Sun

Date: 22 August 2011



Usually, I don't print anything from the Sun unless there are specific dates which can be checked, but this week's story about the government death map had a picture of popular tabloid target Barack Elvis Obama and the beginning paragraphs of the story on the cover instead of just a few headlines.



I am reporting on this because of a single phrase I wanted to quote, the detail that this map of where disasters are most likely to strike was compiled by "respected civil engineers, gifted psychics and Bible scholars".



How can you not feel comforted here about a talented line-up like that working on the government dime?

Meanest story nominee: Obama's drunken bash WHILE AMERICA SUFFERS!

Publication: Globe

Date: 22 August 2011



The Globe, trying to get on the right wing outrage bandwagon, tells us that the president's fiftieth birthday party was a drunken bacchanal with "dirty dancing", thrown WHILE AMERICA SUFFERS. Inside, they promise THE OUTRAGE.



This is a nominee for Meanest Story of the Week.

On the rocks alert: Obamas' secret split.

Publication: National Examiner
Date: 25 July 2011

Ever since Clinton, the gossip rags have loved writing that the presidential marriage is in trouble, especially the Globe and the low rent Examiner. This week, Michelle has had enough and she is now living a life apart from Barack Hussein Lothario Obama.

The low rent Examiner and the Sun are the only two of The Only Ten Magazines That Matter that don't have online versions. This is because both are made on the cheap. Still, we are supposed to believe the low rent Examiner is able to dig up scoops on two of the best protected people on the planet.

The Sun only expects us to believe in the End of the World about six times a year and there's a Bat Boy who was found in a cave.