Least interesting cover story of the week: Jessica Simpson postpones her wedding.

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Yet again, a celebrity story is on the cover of a supermarket rag without any artwork, so it gets the nod for Least Interesting Story of the Week. I'm sneaking it into the extended Thursday line-up because we have two Jessica Simpson stories that disagree with one another.

Besides no artwork, OK! reported the same story two weeks ago. This means Us is two weeks late and a picture short.

For shame, I say, for shame!

Least interesting cover story of the week: Dancing With The Stars rehab shockers!

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 3 Oct. 2011

The Enquirer did not put any artwork with this headline about Dancing With The Stars,though there is the sub-headline "boozing, drugs and mental problems".

This had a chance to be the Meanest Story of the Week if they had named names, but without specific targets, it becomes the "Least interesting story of the week".

Bells Are Ringing Alert™ and Least interesting story of the week: Kourtney says "yes" to Scott.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style

Date: 12 Sept. 2011



Fresh trash on Thursdays! Kourtney Kardashian and Scott Disick make their return to the covers of the supermarket rags, but only as an afterthought. Weekly Life & Style has a big picture of Kim Kardashian and her new hubby Kris Humphries on the cover and a single headline with no picture that reads "Plus: Kourtney says 'yes' to Scott".



I'm not sure if the quotation marks around 'yes' are meant to signify an actual quote or some ironic comment by the headline writers.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Raising kids in Hollywood.

Publication: Star

Date: 15 August 2011



The plague of gossip magazine cover stories without artwork continues. This time, Star talks to people about raising kids in Hollywood, though no names are mentioned and I can't imagine who in Hollywood is stupid enough to talk to the piranhas at Star.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Soap star's secret wedding (photo inside)

Publication: Globe
Date: 8 August 2011

The annoying custom of stories without cover art continues, this time a teaser about a celebrity wedding without even a name on the cover. I didn't open the magazine to find out who and it wasn't on their website. If you care about this, you'll have to go find the magazine yourself.

Least interesting cover story of the week: Hollywood divorce lawyers tell all!

Publication: Star
Date: 18 July 2011

The cover of the Star is dominated by three divorce stories mentioned in the post just above this one, but they also have a teaser for another story about Hollywood divorce lawyers spilling their secrets about other clients. There is no artwork with this story because it's a "Guess who?" kind of deal. Here are the headlines.

• Cross-Dressing!
• Caught with the Nanny!
• Murder by Hit Man
• & more shocking secrets!
  

Least interesting cover story of the week: Justin and Jessica dating again!

Publication: Us Weekly
Date: 18 July 2011

Fresh trash on Thursdays! Us Weekly has a headline with no artwork, so I don't include a picture either. In this case, I think they don't have artwork not to be cheap, but to have kind of a "guess who?" situation. When they write "Justin and Jessica dating again!", you have to ask "Which Justin?" and "Which Jessica?"

These are very popular names in the gossip world.

We can eliminate Justin Theroux and Justin Bieber, since neither of them has a particularly famous ex-girlfriend. This leaves us with Justin Timberlake, who has squired many well known women, but the most obviously Jessica would be Jessica Biel in this case.

No need to be amazed, Watson. It was elementary.