The nine month review for 2011, part 2: Birth predictions

The supermarket rags love to say some celebrity is pregnant. Who cares if it's actually true?

I care. That's the general point of this blog, to keep track of the stuff that can be verified.

Let's go back six to nine months, January, February and March of 2011. If a gossip rag said a woman was pregnant back then, she should either have had the baby by now or be so far along that she can't deny it.

Here are the true tabloid pregnancy announcements from those months. Some of them were mentioned several times.

Kate Hudson (x 5)
Mariah Carey (x 4)
Victoria Beckham
Natalie Portman (x 2)
Kim Zolciak

Here are the false tabloid pregnancy announcements from the same time period.

Khloe Kardashian (x 2)
Kourtney Kardashian
Angelina Jolie
Queen Latifah
Carrie Underwood
Katie Holmes
Kendra Wilkinson
Jennifer Aniston
Kelly Preston
The bearer of Todd Palin's love child

If we ignore how many times each pregnancy was mentioned and instead focus on the number of women who were said to be pregnant, five of them were and ten of them weren't. That's a batting average of .333, which is actually much better than any other three month period in the past two years.

Still, this isn't as tough as hitting a pitched baseball. The press should be able to do better than one correct story out of three when it comes to whether a woman is pregnant or not.

Tomorrow: the popular celebrities and the naughty vs. nice numbers.

The nine month review for 2011, part 1: Death predictions

Time flies when you are remaining alive, and most of the people who the gossip rags have marked for death this year have done just that, remained alive. Let me list the "successes" for the vultures of the tabloid press first, because the list is short.

These people were first marked for death in 2011 and they died in 2011.

Peter Falk
James Arness

These people were marked for death in 2010 and they died in 2011.

Anne Francis
Miss Elizabeth Taylor

And here is the list of new people who are allegedly near death's door according to the rags who predict death, which for the most part are the Three Wicked Step Sisters, the Enquirer, the Globe and the low rent Examiner.

Chuck Berry
Paula Deen
Larry Fortensky
Miss Maureen O'Hara
Glen Campbell
Jack Klugman
Miss Angela Lansbury
Miss Kitty Wells
George Jones
Roy Clark
Donna Fargo
Dick Van Dyke
Steve Jobs
Amber Portwood
Charlie Sheen
Barbara Bush
Barry Manilow
Chaz Bono (dangerous diet, but not really)
John Edwards (suicidal)
Kendra Wilkinson (suicidal)
Casey Anthony (either suicidal or she's going to be murdered)
Ali Lohan (too skinny)
Taylor Armstrong (too skinny)
Reese Witherspoon (had a concussion)

And then there's the list of people mentioned before the beginning of the year that got mentioned again.

Kirk Douglas
Miss Doris Day
Regis Philbin
Miss Loretta Lynn
James Garner
Billy Graham
Bob Barker
Jerry Lee Lewis
Nancy Reagan
Zsa Zsa Gabor
Aretha Franklin
Whitney Houston
Bill Clinton

This means for this year, 2 correct predictions and 37 people who are still alive, some with health problems that could be life threatening, many with the promise of many years to come. 2 of 39 is a pathetic batting average of .051, and the overall numbers are 10 of 92 for .109, over twice as good as the numbers for last year but still incredibly bad.

Eventually, if they stop predicting, they have to bat 1.000. It's stunning how bad they are at this verifiable stuff, which calls into question all the stuff they write we can't verify.

The Sun Will Come Out Tomorrow Alert™: Not quite the predicted flood in September.

Way back in June, the Sun gave us some Mayan prophecies for this year, which kinda sorta came true but on a teeny tiny scale.

The first was Midwest earthquakes in July. There are always earthquakes in the Midwest, especially around Arkansas, but they are little things, not even 3.0 on the Richter scale.

(For the record, the big East Coast quake was not in July.)

There was also a report of the entire U.S. being swept by floods in September, with a graphic of a big wave hitting the Statue of Liberty, not unlike this special effects shot from The Day After Tomorrow.

There were floods, but nothing like what was predicted.

Carry on with your everyday existence.

Dancing With The Stars' Lacey bullied for her body

Publication: In Touch
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

Welcome to gossip hell, Lacey Schwimmer! She's partnered with Chaz Bono this season, and this report says she was "bullied for her body".

You So Crazy Alert™: Casey Anthony headed for mental ward.

Publication: National Enquirer
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

We get another big Casey Anthony headline this week, this time from the Enquirer and based entirely on a "friend fears" speculation about Casey being sent to a mental institution, where she will be subjected to "the straight-jacket, padded cell and shock treatments!"

Stay classy, Enquirer!

On the rocks alert: Halle's custody battle turns violent.

Publication: Star
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

The supermarket rags leave Halle Berry alone for the most part. The last time she was mentioned was when her ex Gabriel Aubry was romantically linked with Kim Kardashian for about a minute and a half earlier this year. Now there are "secret court papers" saying that her custody battle has grown violent.

Whatever excuse I get for using this picture of her, I don't mind.

'Cos she's purdy.

Damn You Skinny Alert™: Another story about Hollywood women who weigh too little.

Publication: Weekly Life & Style
Date: 10 Oct. 2011

Yet another grab bag story about women in show business obsessing about their weight and getting too skinny in the process. Here are the headlines.

• Sandra's heartbroken again - over Ryan Reynolds' new romance.
  
• Lonely and insecure, she drops to her lowest weight ever
  
• (skin and bones)
  

• Demi: Starving herself after cheating scandal

• Kendra: What I did to get thin

• Julie Bowen: Pressure to look perfect

And this is the opportunity to write: Welcome to gossip hell, Julie Bowen!